December 2011
28 posts
November 2011
28 posts
Chapter 8: Section 1 - Population Growth
- (Yes, today was the day of giggles since we discussed things like "reproduction". Maturity, guys, maturity...)
- Me: Alright, so for our population to grow exponentially, we have to satisfy a few requirements... We have to have enough space and food, and we also need to have as little as possible of two things. Any guesses?
- Class: (--cricket--cricket--cricket--)
- Me: Okay, let's imagine.... y'all (left side) are puppies.... and y'all (right side) are puppies. And in the middle we have a giant bowl of Kibbles 'n Bits 'n Bacon 'n Cheese. Whatcha gonna do now?
- Class: (rather lamely) We're going to go to the food bowl.
- Me: WELL GO TO THE FOOD BOWL. (16-18 year olds rush to the center of the room. I may or may not have provided Starbursts as food.)
- Class: So what's the answer?
- Me: You tell me. What's that called?
- Class: COMPETITION.
- Me: Boom shacka lacka. Alright, we also have to have as little as possible of something else.....
- Class: (--cricket--cricket--cricket--)
- Me: Imagine again..... YOU (right side) are squirrels. Let me see you be squirrels. (I then lead that portion of the class in the hold-your-hands-bent-by-your-face-and-make-the-squirrel-buck-teeth-noises dance.)
- Class: SQUIRRELS! SQUIRRELS! SQUIRRELS!
- Me: And you over HERE are HAWKS! Let me see you be a HAWK.
- Class: caCAW caCAW caCAW (arms flapping rapidly)
- Travis: Miss Gamble, can I be a squirrel?
- Me: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE A SQUIRREL?! YOU'RE ABOUT TO DDDDDIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE.
- Travis: Let me be a squirrel. Please. You won't regret this.
- Me: Okay, but only because you're Mr. Awesome on our Final Four Football Team.
- Travis: I am a squirrel. But I'm SUPER SQUIRREL. When that HAWK flies down to kill me I'm going to take my little squirrel paws and claws and, well, SLIT HIS THROAT, and jump on his back, and hijack him and use his wings as my wings and FLY. I'LL FLY AWAY. I'LL BE A FLYING SQUIRREL.
- (And then I find myself pretending to fly around the room on my hypothetically hijacked hawk and promising to make Travis Super Squirrel a cape and provide him some goggles, because, well, after all, he's going to need them seeing how a squirrel will need ophthalmological assistance for flight.)
Production Junction
Sometimes I’m absolutely amazed at my productivity… (Keyword: Sometimes. Most of the time I’m really annoyed impressed with my ability to waste time.)
After driving back to Athens this afternoon, I…
- Deep-cleaned my bathroom (With Mister Fitzgerald spending the week and his grandparents, I had ample opportunity and uninterrupted time to clean his nook in the home)
- Changed my sheets
- Completed two loads of laundry
- Put aforementioned laundry away (not just back folded in the top of my hamper… I’m often guilty of that…)
- Cleaned out my drawers
- Cleaned out my closet
- Made a bag or two for Goodwill
- Unpacked from Thanksgiving
- Put absolutely everything away so my room was spotless
- Vacuumed the whole apartment… which really translates into four rooms
- Went to Michael’s to make cute hall passes for the classroom (I’ll show you later!)
- Did my weekly grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s
- Put away all of my groceries
- Packed my lunch
- Set up Mr. Coffee Maker for the morning
- Unloaded the dishwasher
- Loaded the dishwasher
- Began decorating for CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
And, now, I’m sitting in bed about to finish up writing Final Number One, begin writing Final Number Two, and finish up some lesson plans for the week. Friday is now an early release day so we can caravan down to the coast to watch the Wolverines win their fourteenth (!!!) game in a row and head to THE DOME. Yeah, that’s stressing me out a bit… I had the whole week planned out and now I’m going to have to tweak it to fit in some 20 minute class periods on Friday. Oh well… I’m willing to pay the price for the champs I teach.
Hopefully I’ll be just as productive after school tomorrow! I have tests and quizzes to write, notes to invent, copies to make (while I wait on dear ol’ Gutenberg himself to produce those copies), and a classroom that’s begging to be decorated for CHRISTMAS!!!
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Things I Wish I Could Explain to Fitzgerald:
- Toilet paper is expensive and should not be used as a toy. Four rolls in one week is a bit excessive, little buddy.
- The strings hanging a few inches from the bottom of the fan are for reasons other than your entertainment. While I’m impressed that you can
jumplaunch yourself that high, I worry about decapitation. - It would be best if you just didn’t touch my computer. My fingers moving across the keys is not an invitation to play… nor is the mouse moving across the screen.
- I really, really, really kind of hate it when you lick me.
- The last hour of sleep is the best. Do. Not. Disturb.
- The edge of the kitchen table is not your personal Bow Flex. Please do not use it to do your daily agility training, kinesthetics, or pull-ups. (Though, we were all impressed at dinner Monday night to see your little paws on the corner while you lifted your skeletal self repeatedly.)
- Bar stools are not your jungle gym… Also, this small apartment is not the Atlanta Motor Speedway.
“
Miss Gamble, you make me want to be a teacher when I grow up…
… plus you get off work at 3:20 and you don’t have homework.
” —Never before have I loved and hated a comment more.This is kind of how my brain works most of the time when I plan lessons. Maybe this is a problem. Maybe not. I’ll let you decide…
Environmental Science:
- Tropical Rain Forest: We can watch some of The Jungle Book.
- Temperate Deciduous Forest: Bambi. Thumper. Thumper. Thumper.
- Savannah: Lion King, of course
- Tundra: March of the Penguins, eh?
- Marine Biomes: Come on, The Little Mermaid
World History:
- Arabia: Let’s go with Aladdin.
- China: Mulan? Check.
- Greece: HERCULES.
- Paris: Hunchback of Notre Dame
- Incas: The Emperor’s New Groove (pull the lever…. wroooooong lever)
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